My Friend, Jesus

Uhg, people, I'm dead.

I'm staring at this computer screen, screaming "I CAN'T THINK, I CAN'T THINK!!"

So, yeah, I think that's a good enough introduction for this post. Or, maybe, it could function as my ending, too.

Guys, I can't write about God anymore. Ok, well, not really, but I need help. Due to my last minute procrastination and overall state of panic, I can't even decide on a topic. Well, actually, I did. I tried to be on top of things and starting writing it last night, but after reading it this morning, nope. Time to try something new. There's seriously nothing more discouraging than a looming deadline and a blank computer document. 

I mean, sure, I could just not post today. But wouldn't that mean I'm a failure??? I mean, I promised to post every Sunday, it'd practically be a sin to just not do it. Right? 

Wrong. Well, I don't know. The whole point of setting deadlines was to make sure that I sat down, at least once a week, and actually wrote something for the blog. 'Cause I have a tendency to forget things, as evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this at 8:17 Sunday night. 

But what happened? I used to be on top of this, I had so many blog posts pre-written, they were coming out of mah ears! I used to be dying of impatience waiting for another week to roll by, so that I could share with ya'll what I had written.

Maybe, I've forgotten. I've lost focus. After all, I started this blog for a purpose. I didn't start it just to become popular and have a gagillion of followers. It's evidenced in the very name of the blog. 

Lux Filii - Light of the Son

I wanted to spread the light I saw in my own life. I wanted to spread my joy of being Christian. I wanted to be positive, when the rest of the world seemed to be filled with darkness. 

I want to show that life is worth living. I want to share my struggles, not to prove that they really are challenging, but that they can be overcome.

Faith is not like bottled water, but like rain. It's destiny is not just to be kept and held, but to make something visible grow.

— Peter Kreeft (@ProfessorKreeft) August 24, 2016

This. This is me. Being who I was, being Christian, I had to share it. Every time I wrote, it would come pouring out. I knew something was there, something greater than me. I couldn't just put a cap on it, to keep it for myself.

It seemed whenever I put myself into the words, whenever I shared it freely, I could feel something at work. I can feel it now, driving me forward.

When I see the beautiful life I've been given, I need to share that. We're meant to be mirrors. When you know that God's light is real, it doesn't matter what you go through. I always tried to put everything I went through in perspective, to see what the pains, struggles, and confusion really were.

They're opportunities to love God. To love God, even when it doesn't feel good, when it makes no sense. To let go and trust in Him. That utter dependence to Him, truly is a great blessing and a cherished freedom.  There is no greater proof of our love when God apparently vanishes from our lives and we still say, "I believe."

I'm not an delusional optimist. Yes, there is evil in this world. The struggle is real. Nor am I a hopeless pessimist, because, in the end, our suffering will turn to joy and tears shall turn to laughter.

Let His name be my last word. There never was a greater story told. The story where God became Man, so that He might dwell among us and set us free.

The Man, who died that I might live.

My friend, 

Jesus.